I Still Hate Myself

from by Celebrity Pets

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I should be screaming along to songs I barely know but the only thing my lungs can muster up is a sad sigh. all these sad thoughts that plague my heart can only grow and I'm trying my absolute hardest to figure out why. The idea of my self loathing being worth something and the taste of shitty coffee on tongue. The act of beating myself up over nothing, that I should appreciate while I'm still young. (I don't feel infinite. I don't feel anything like I thought I did.) I'm so fucking sad. And I'm sorry I can't just fucking say it without the aid or the shelter of a song. you all fucking knew you fucking sang along. to my desperate cries for help when i was too scared to tell you how I truely felt. like the lowest for of life took a shit on me. that the act of doing so was considered holy. this isn't a gimmick, it's a personal hell. I hate myself.


from sadjamz, released April 15, 2013



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